The line about the pants was supposed to just be funny, and that's what it was when I 
originally came up with it. But the longer I'm exposed (no pun intended) to it, the 
"dirtier" it becomes. I'm beginning to think I may need to redo that line. And Christa 
would never become a nun, and Ashley is a bit too "objectified". All-in-all, this song 
is a considerably different style than my usual, and I'm not entirely happy with it.

[Em]
Christa is the only woman that I thought would be the one
  [C]
I flirted quite a bit and wrote some poems that were overdone
    [Am]
And coming on too strong I guess is what made Christa want to run
      [D]                [Dsus]      [D]
Who'd ever thought she'd go become a Nun?

So then I turned about and looked around and Laura caught my eye
And so I thought that maybe I would offer up another try
But Laura told me "Sorry, Boy, it's sad, but you're just not my guy".
And then she turned away and said "Goodbye".

So then I went to counseling to see if I could heal my hurt
Doc Ashley came into the room on legs beneath a sexy skirt
And then I saw her face so cute above her very lovely shirt
And I could not help but again to flirt

So now I find myself alone and back out on the street again
The ethics of her job considers my flirting with her a sin
So I picked up some paper and a guitar and my writing pen
Why won't you women love us ugly men?

[Oo-oo-oo-h ...., Why won't you women love us ugly men?]

I went to see my doctor for a medical emergency
It turned out fine, no need for meds or special diets or surgery
To claim I wasn't smitten by Nurse Cheryl would be perjury
But then she said to put back on my pants.

[Oo-oo-oo-h ...., Why won't you women love us ugly men?]